Givers Need to Learn to Receive
Are you the type of person who loves to help and support individuals; give out to others wanting to serve? A person who is in touch with the feelings of others and your own feelings. A person who finds it hard to say no, not wanting to let people down. Maybe you could do with a bit more confidence. The following may help you…
- My best gift to others is a strong me
The trouble with always putting the needs of others before yourself is your own needs can be left unmet. It can result in poor development, low confidence and eventually burn-out. By making time for God and also ourselves ensures you stay strong. This ‘strong me’ is then my gift to you in service.
ACTION: Set time aside to build your relationship with God and make time to see to your own needs - Learn to Receive Praise
Do you desire to encourage and affirm others yet find it so hard to receive praise yourself? If praised do you push it away with comments like ‘oh it was nothing’, ‘anyone would have done it’ or something similar. Then let me challenge you. What you know works so well for others and builds their confidence surely must work for you if you were to receive it. I can testify through my coaching that learning to receive praise from others has been hard but doing it has built the personal confidence and strength of those willing to take the step. At first it feels egotistical which is why you have to bring yourself back to principle 1. The good news it does get easier.
ACTION: Use the following model to reply when others are offering you praise.
‘Oh thanks for that positive feedback, I am pleased you found it (useful/valuable…). I put (my heart into it, gave it real effort, time…) into it, so encouraging it has been noticed’
NOTE: Doing this will at first feel ‘not like you’ and ‘uncomfortable’ but that will soon give way to a change of feeling and your confidence growing. Then it will feel like you, a confident you …go for it!
Discover Your Life Purpose
How to Discover Your God Given Life purpose
Service – The best way to discover your God given life purpose is actually not to focus on self-development but to love God and serve others. As we get to know God and serve others we enable kingdom living in our lives and from that higher perspective and purpose discover our own purpose and part to play. People that fail to align themselves with God’s purpose and ways often fail to find their own purpose, Luke 7:30 NASB.
ACTION: Draw near to God and get out there and serve others. It does not initially matter where you serve give God your availability before ability.
Fruitfulness – In your service raise your self-awareness as to where you get results, fruit. Use clues of what you enjoy, don’t enjoy to see your God given strengths and weaknesses. Ask others where they see you make a difference. Where you bear fruit in your good work Col 1:10
ACTION: Keep a log of your and other people reflections on where you are fruitful.
Flow – When individuals operate in their God given talents they typically go beyond ‘doing’ to enter a state of ‘flow’. This is where they become so absorbed in what they are doing they are ‘IN’ the moment. That focus of being ‘IN’ means they typically lose track of time. There is a sense for many of living from the inside-out. This flow is a classic indicator of an area of talent that is linked to the individual’s life purpose. God’s Spirit in working through people is described by Jesus as a river in flow bringing life John 7:38
ACTION: Reflect on any area of your life where you enter that state of flow. What gift or talent are you using that results in that flow?
Irritation – God given talents are associated with strong values. When others do not value what we value so strongly that can lead to irritation. Irritation and frustration can lead to a poor behavioural response. People can therefore try to move away from such encounters and avoid irritation. The irony is that people, for this reason, can often be moving away from their life purpose. Having those strong values and emotions are pointers to your life purpose. For example my wife hates chaos, her life purpose is brining order. Jesus was irritated by what was going on in the temple Mat 21:12-13
ACTION: Reflect on where you get irritated the most in life and why? What values are so important for you? How can you stay engaged rather than avoid irritation?
My life example:
Service – I served in various roles and still do anything from litter picking; driving a minibus for church through to maintenance work and delivering training courses. The things I particularly enjoyed were cleaning up deprived estates; fixing DIY problems for residents and enabling developing life skills.
Fruitfulness – I was most fruitful in working with others to fix problems; in getting alongside individuals and raising their hope, confidence and ideas for change.
Flow – When I gave feedback to my kids on how their approach and skills made a positive difference; when I worked with others to discover new caves in my local area; when I cleaned and tidied a house; when I enabled light bulbs to come on for individuals; when I ran team building courses I entered a state of flow quite often.
Irritation – I get irritated with people who I have spent time with talking through problems and coming up with ideas then doing nothing. I get irritated with people who are always critical and negative pulling others down.
What did all this add up to for me. At first it was not clear as items initially looked unrelated but in talking it through with others I noticed there is a lot about ‘releasing potential’. I wanted to see my kids realise their strengths and dreams. I wanted to find, explore all the hidden caves in Nidderdale North Yorkshire, to link them together; I love to see gardens, houses and deprived estates turned around to be useful for people to live in and enjoy; I love facilitating development courses that release the power and talents of individuals and teams. The things and people that irritate me is anything that gets in the way of positive affirmation and development.
Chris Fox – People Developer with life purpose of Releasing Potential
Work/Ministry – Leadership, management and team development
Church volunteer – working on deprived estates
Hobbies – exploring new caves in Nidderdale and home DIY
Time Bending
Time Bending – is about practical ways to maximise time for your God given purpose and pleasure. This book explains Kingdom Principles that maximise time. Covering such aspects as how being in his kingdom; purpose centred; having prayer; maintaining joyful living; the willingness to learn; finishing what you started; and working in partnerships and teams. It clearly explains how the practical outworking of the principles can enable you to achieve a lot in a little time but more than that to live a God centred joyful existence.
Christians need to demonstrate how being in Christ can bring fruitful lives where much is achieved while living without major stress in joy and satisfaction. This book explains simply but powerfully how this can be accomplished.
Chapter titles:
1. The Cross was a Time Bender
2. Joshua was a Time Bender
3. Jesus was a Time Bender
4. Abiding is a Time Bender
5. Joy is a Time Bender
6. Teachability is a Time Bender
7. Prayer is a Time Bender
8. Purpose is a Time Bender
9. Finishing is a Time Bender
10. Strategic relationships are a Time Bender
11. It’s time to bend time
Potential – from Bigger Purpose
Alignment with Kingdom Purpose
Releasing potential comes from being aligned with a bigger purpose, with kingdom purpose.
‘But the Pharisees and the lawyers rejected God’s purpose for themselves, not having been baptized by John.’ Luke 7:30 NASB
The baptism of John was the baptism of repentance telling the people that the kingdom of God was at hand. Repentance is about getting into alignment with God the Father. That requires us to turn around away from our own purpose to being in relationship with our heavenly Father to get on board with His heavenly purpose. To be an active partner in building His kingdom here on earth as it is in heaven.
Knowing all the laws in the bible inside out (Lawyers) or believing the next resurrected life will be better and preserving the ‘traditions of the fathers’ (Pharisees) will not in themselves connect you with God the Father. They will neither release the God given purpose for us in this life now. Put more simply religious practice will not save us and release our God given potential.
When connected with God and getting to know the true heart of God we see the bigger purpose. That bigger purpose gives Perspective, Role, Identity, Development and Empowerment (PRIDE).
Perspective – Being able to see things from God’s perspective, the bigger picture, kingdom purpose
Role – to discover our purpose and fulfil an active role in kingdom building
Identity – to know what it means to be a child of God and discover who we are
Development – takes us on a journey of discipleship and growth
Empowerment – releasing our God given gifts and talents as we serve others
Prayer: I from now on I stop my own purpose being first in my life, as good as those things might be like career plans, self-development, looking after my family, making money etc and seek you first Father God. I pray through Jesus Christ forgiveness in putting my purpose first and help me get to know the Father’s heart and discover my purpose and potential.
Releasing Potential Blog 